We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize