True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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