Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you didnt know i had herpes?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
