I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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