Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
