We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
