I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
