I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
two words...techno handjob
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
