fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
