I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We talked him into tasing himself.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
