Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
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