How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize