i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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