Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How external is "for external use only"?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
