every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
