I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
