He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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