if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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