Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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