I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
