guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
