508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
