They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
