we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
