But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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