I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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