Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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