were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
is wine microwaveable?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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