North Korea, Best Korea!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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