Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
