I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
