i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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