What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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