bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize