I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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