I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
