Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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