yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
