I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize