It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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