I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Actions speak louder than pants.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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