Just fell off a train. Bad.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
