The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
