Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
