I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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