did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
