i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
