Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
