happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
