you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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