so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
high people should be assigned attendants
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize