I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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