I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize