Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize