I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
