I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
