i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
BRING THE BAGELS
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
