wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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