That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Randomize
