Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
