I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
