But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Small penises have feelings too.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
