I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
