what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
this boner is exhausting
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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