so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
