I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize