Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize