Yo dont text me then not text me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
