And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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