Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
