Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
