id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
