high people should be assigned attendants
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
