She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
