Just mADE A PArabola og urine
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
