Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I party with great urgency now.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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