Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You have to summon your inner elephant
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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